Not Feeling It
After a delightful dinner, I saw that it was about the time to do my drawing stream. I had zero desire to stream or draw and had the “Why are you even doing this?” voice at a very loud volume.
It’s hard to counter the “Why” when there is no real reason other than this is what I want to do. I said I’d do it and I’m the only one who cares if I hold myself accountable. It felt so easy to opt-out of this project at this point.
Then while fighting these voices, my internet went out. I thought, “Great! Without the internet how could I possibly stream?”
Naw! I’m being lazy. Let’s not be lazy.
I went through the ritual of setting things up. Positioning the camera, the lights, the microphone, and so on while the “Why?” voice kept going.
I muscled through it. I shared the link on my social media accounts and hit that “Start Streaming” button.
The rest is history. I had fun. I talked through what I was thinking as I was drawing.
Talking through how vomit should arc, should there be chunks, how should the lid be, what is a toilet like, and whatever else came up was fun. Gross, but fun.
It is fun working through a sketchbook in the open. It is fun to talk about how I feel about drawing and creativity. It is fun to think that I can maybe inspire someone to pick up their sketchbook and thrash on a page or two.
Really though, do the things that make you happy even when you really aren’t feeling it. Especially if you know you will have fun.
Don’t forget that it is okay to rest.